The Jokes Start Here

I’m done with posting my jokes on Facebook. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians. So, my blog will be my testing ground! Here we go!

Ugly people should not have attitudes. Look, unless you are Lady Gaga, Kid Rock or Lil Wayne, you need to drop the attitude. Have you ever seen a really good looking girl with an ugly guy? You’re like, “Why are you with him?” She’ll be like, “Well, he’s really kind and has a nice personality.” and I’ll be like, “He’s got no choice! The poor guy is already going through life with 2 strikes against him!”

Ever have an ugly person correct you? “Does anyone know where the street Devon Tree is?” They’ll be like, “That’s DEVONTRY.”— “I don’t think I was talking to you, Quasimoto.”

If you were to make a comment to someone like Cindy Crawford and she was like, “Whateva!”,  you’d feel like, “Yeah, that was pretty dumb of me to say.” But, if you were to comment to someone like Lindsey Lohan and she was like, “Whateva!”, you could be like, “You know, you’re miles away from where you were when you did “Mean Girls.”

All the Kardashian sisters could get away with attitudes. Except the skinny one. Someone should tell her she’s adopted.

I’m no Prince Charming. I have a big nose and 3 testicles. Ask me for an autograph and you’re sure to get one.


Published by Omar Tarango

I am a father, company manager, and a stand up comic. Being a stand up comic is the least funniest of the three.

5 thoughts on “The Jokes Start Here

    1. You’re right! They are mean. On stage, however, comics can get away with almost anything…almost. I tried this last night and the “he has no choice” part worked really well. So, I got on Sent from my LG phone

    2. You’re right! It’s mean. Tried the bit recently and the “he has no choice” part got a big laugh! That’s how it goes in stand up. You write a lot and only a few bits survive. Thanks for the input!

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