Before my Underdog Comedy blog, I blogged about finding loopholes in things. The following is one of my favorites:
“I’m not coming in to work again today, boss. I’m still sick.”
“You’re sick again? Ok, remember, if you miss another day, we’re going to need a doctor’s note.”
Whether you’re really sick or just need an extended time away from work, the “We need you to bring a doctor’s note” line can really cut in to your mini sabbatical. Let’s assume you really aren’t sick? What goes through your mind when you hear that….”….bring a doctor’s note.” ? Is your employer asking you to PROVE that you were really sick during those extended days? How in the world can you prove you were sick when you really weren’t??!! Is this really what your employer is asking you to do?
To answer that, let’s read a portion of one of my Employee Manuals;
—If you miss three (3) consecutive working days because of illness or injury, you must, before returning to work, submit a doctor’s release slip stating that you may return to work with no
restrictions. If restrictions are required, your return to work will be dependent upon your ability to
effectively perform your regular job, even with the restrictions.—
Ahhh, let’s read that again with NEW loophole EYES;
—If you miss three (3) consecutive working days because of illness or injury, you must, before returning to work, submit a doctor’s RELEASE slip STATING THAT YOU MAY RETURN TO WORK WITH NO RESTRICTIONS. If restrictions are required, your return to work will be dependent upon your ability to
effectively perform your regular job, even with the restrictions.—
Where, in that last paragraph, do you read, “…doctor’s note stating that you WERE REALLY SICK”? All your employer really wants is to know that you are NO LONGER sick! So, for the cost of a doctor’s co-pay, you can walk right in to your doctor’s office and say, “Doc, I need a clean bill of health!” and voila! After a quick check of your vital signs, your doctor will send you on your way with a release slip stating how healthy you are!
I challenge you to pull out your own Employee’s Manual and read between the lines for yourself. The loopholes are there, people, and all it takes is applying a few 5th grade reading comprehension skills !
Until next time!!
:~)
Comedian Omar Tarango 