While I’m in between jobs, I got a gig as a security guard. I basically stand around all day and watch people come and go. At a recent post, at a grocery store, who’s name shall remain nameless but rhymes with Galbertson’s, I learned a few things: The reason kids leave the store empty handedContinue reading “Life from the Perspective of a Security Guard”
Tag Archives: jokes
Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is There!
If you have been going to stand up comedy shows or performed on them often enough, eventually, you will see and hear things that make your butt cheeks tighten up and make you wanna say, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!” Well, allow me to share a few of the moments I haveContinue reading “Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is There!”
Humility With a Name Like “Iggy”
I don’t consider myself a professional stand up comic yet. I’ve been in the business for 7 years now, and in that time have earned well over…six hundred bucks. I know a little more than the comic who has done it for a less amount of time but I have a TON more to learn.Continue reading “Humility With a Name Like “Iggy””
How Many People Do You Need to Have a Good Stand Up Comedy Show?
The answer to the title of this blog is, six. Yup, that’s all you need. At least, that’s all I needed. Last night was my Headlining debut at a local El Paso, Texas bar called Coconuts. The promoter has run that show for over 3 years now, every week on Tuesdays. For the most part,Continue reading “How Many People Do You Need to Have a Good Stand Up Comedy Show?”
I’m a Horrible Blogger
I haven’t kept up with this blog as often as I wanted to. As a comic, the wheels in my head do turn on a regular basis but often times, they only turn is small spurts. Unfortunately for me, they never turn when I want them to! My head is constantly filled with joke ideasContinue reading “I’m a Horrible Blogger”
I am seriously considering leaving Facebook. I’m slowly starting to realize that, far from being a promotional tool to get the word out on my stand up comedy journey, Facebook is nothing more than a public stage open to anyone and everyone. How in the world is someone supposed to get noticed that way! I’mContinue reading “It’s Over…”
Rape Jokes…Do the Two Words Really Fit Together?
This past week, comedian Daniel Tosh was blasted for using material having to do with rape. A member of the audience interrupted Daniel’s set to say, “Rape is not funny!” Daniel Tosh then began his rebuttal of the heckler. He went on to say something to the effect of, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Wouldn’t itContinue reading “Rape Jokes…Do the Two Words Really Fit Together?”
Look At Me!!
When a comic gets asked, “Why did you want to do stand up comedy?” The majority of the answers you’ll read will be, “I’ve always enjoyed making people laugh.” And to that, I’ve gotta say “B.S.!” Although that is a nice “pie in the sky” answer, it comes no where near the real reason. IContinue reading “Look At Me!!”
Hacks, Stealing Material and Carlos Mencia
What is a hack comic? Simply put, it is a comic who chooses to use the “same old” topics that have been used over and over again by other comics in hopes of getting an easy laugh. All comics fall prey to this. It is the comic that recognizes the hack premises and immediately dumpsContinue reading “Hacks, Stealing Material and Carlos Mencia”
The Long and Winding Road
In the world of Stand up Comedy, you can literally write tons of new material and maybe only a few of those jokes survive! I recently wrote 10 minutes of material and only 25 seconds of it made the final cut! It’s a long road, but the laughs are worth it!
I personally like to write down some of my material as a Facebook status update. Depending on the responses I get, I can gauge whether or not I want to keep working on them. The following are just a few of some of those status updates. Some of them have made it to my act and others are still sitting on the back burner. What I really enjoy about this process is that some of these bits will actually evolve into a great bit that only leads to other great bits. I hope you enjoy them! And remember, you can go to my Facebook fan page and ‘Like’ it to keep up with whatever I’m writing at the time….
A new billboard sign in town reads, “You Text, You Drive, You Crash”. How about adding, “Reading Billboards Won’t Help Either.”
Found a condom wrapper in my teenage son’s backpack. I don’t know whether to be upset that he’s having sex at an early age or jealous that they’re Magnums.
“Why can’t I buy a car? Your commercial said you accept Bad Credit.”…”Yes sir, but you have crappy credit. You need to improve your score by 200 points to have Bad Credit.”
I have dreams of becoming famous. I also dream that a giant tomato eats me….
Big Brothers of America has canceled my participation. Apparently, my assigned little brother did not appreciate the teasing, wedgies or bullying.
Having a cold for longer than a few days can make a person so paranoid that they start thinking crazy stuff; “Crap, this is EXACTLY how Magic Johnson found out he was HIV positive…”
As a Christian, I know I’m not perfect. I believe in the rapture, but as a stupid teenager, I sure wish I hadn’t thought the things I did….(under my breath) “Please, please, please, don’t come for your people today. This girl thinks I’m YOU!”
I just now realized why the Flinstones were happily married for so long! Twin beds…