Life from the Perspective of a Security Guard


While I’m in between jobs, I got a gig as a security guard. I basically stand around all day and watch people come and go. At a recent post, at a grocery store, who’s name shall remain nameless but rhymes with Galbertson’s, I learned a few things: The reason kids leave the store empty handedContinue reading “Life from the Perspective of a Security Guard”

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The Evolution of the Stand Up Comedian


I’ve noticed an evolution of sorts, in the way stand-up comedy is honed. I suppose that you can say the same thing about most any occupation? If we all have to “Start somewhere”, then it stands to reason that, with the passing of time, you are never the same as when you started. For thoseContinue reading “The Evolution of the Stand Up Comedian”

George Carlin Was Not Funny To Me


George Carlin was a good performer. He was a good orator. He was a good and creative writer. But, to me, he was not particularly funny. I know the comedy world at large may frown upon that statement, but who in the world said I had to agree with everyone! I’ve listened to Carlin. I’veContinue reading “George Carlin Was Not Funny To Me”

Look At Me!!


When a comic gets asked, “Why did you want to do stand up comedy?” The majority of the answers you’ll read will be, “I’ve always enjoyed making people laugh.” And to that, I’ve gotta say “B.S.!” Although that is a nice “pie in the sky” answer, it comes no where near the real reason. IContinue reading “Look At Me!!”

Hacks, Stealing Material and Carlos Mencia


What is a hack comic? Simply put, it is a comic who chooses to use the “same old” topics that have been used over and over again by other comics in hopes of getting an easy laugh. All comics fall prey to this. It is the comic that recognizes the hack premises and immediately dumpsContinue reading “Hacks, Stealing Material and Carlos Mencia”

The Long and Winding Road


Underdog Comedy

In the world of Stand up Comedy, you can literally write tons of new material and maybe only a few of those jokes survive! I recently wrote 10 minutes of material and only 25 seconds of it made the final cut! It’s a long road, but the laughs are worth it!

I personally like to write down some of my material as a Facebook status update. Depending on the responses I get, I can gauge whether or not I want to keep working on them. The following are just a few of some of those status updates. Some of them have made it to my act and others are still sitting on the back burner. What I really enjoy about this process is that some of these bits will actually evolve into a great bit that only leads to other great bits. I hope you enjoy them! And remember, you can go to my Facebook fan page and ‘Like’ it to keep up with whatever I’m writing at the time….

 A new billboard sign in town reads, “You Text, You Drive, You Crash”. How about adding, “Reading Billboards Won’t Help Either.”

Found a condom wrapper in my teenage son’s backpack. I don’t know whether to be upset that he’s having sex at an early age or jealous that they’re Magnums.

“Why can’t I buy a car? Your commercial said you accept Bad Credit.”…”Yes sir, but you have crappy credit. You need to improve your score by 200 points to have Bad Credit.”

I have dreams of becoming famous. I also dream that a giant tomato eats me….

Big Brothers of America has canceled my participation. Apparently, my assigned little brother did not appreciate the teasing, wedgies or bullying.

Having a cold for longer than a few days can make a person so paranoid that they start thinking crazy stuff; “Crap, this is EXACTLY how Magic Johnson found out he was HIV positive…”

As a Christian, I know I’m not perfect. I believe in the rapture, but as a stupid teenager, I sure wish I hadn’t thought the things I did….(under my breath) “Please, please, please, don’t come for your people today. This girl thinks I’m YOU!”

I just now realized why the Flinstones were happily married for so long! Twin beds…

 

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!


Getting started in stand up comedy is pretty much like being a kid again. You’re going to mess up and sometimes, you’re going to get scolded. In the six years I’ve been doing this, this has happened to me at least twice. I’ll share one of those experiences with you.  While opening at a wellContinue reading “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!”

One Day Away!


Tomorrow, I’ll be taking to the stage at Laffs Comedy Caffe’ in Tucson! I’m incredibly excited about it and can’t wait to use my material on a professional stage! I’m desperately trying to find a ‘clothing style’ for my appearances. After a 12 year marriage and 4 kids, I think I’ve lost all sense ofContinue reading “One Day Away!”

You’re so Vain!


At the risk of sounding really vain, I realized that as a performer, it is vital that I put my best foot forward. And considering that I am the center of attention when I take the stage, I want to make sure that, besides being funny and entertaining, I must do what I can toContinue reading “You’re so Vain!”

Tucson, Here I Come!


I’ll be opening this week at Laffs Comedy Caffe in Tucson, Arizona! If you live in Tucson or know someone in that area, let me know so I can shoot you and them an invite! The club is great and it would be awesome if I could generate a good following there! I’ll be performingContinue reading “Tucson, Here I Come!”