I’m Not The Man I Used To Be


Approximately four years ago, I decided to do something about the weight I had gained. I was married for twelve years and in that time, my weight shot up from 170 lbs. to 230 lbs. I can’t tell you why it happened, it just did. It didn’t bother me much at the time, though. It was just part of my life. I worked, ate all day, came home and ate some more. I had a weight set and would go on about two week streaks of trying to get back in shape before it became another after thought.

With my divorce, I knew I had to get it together. No so much to appeal to the opposite sex, but because I was unhealthy. My blood pressure shot up to incredibly high levels and I could hear myself breathing! Heck, I developed such a snore that I would wake myself up at night! I couldn’t go on like that. I was very athletic in my youth, up until the age of about twenty-two. Now, I was 35 and wasn’t getting any younger, or thinner, for that matter. I got myself a used pair of weights from Craigslist and got to it!  I worked out every other day, but didn’t change many of my eating habits. My muscles started growing again, but the weight loss would often hit a plateau. At the time, I went from 215 lbs. to 200 lbs, but I could never crack the 200 mark. Eventually, I got comfy again and stopped working out. I eventually gained most of the weight back. I just got discouraged at not losing any more than I had.

Two years ago, I decided to take a different approach. I had been researching Low Carb diets and thought that may help me break the plateau I had previously reached. Armed with a new diet, I hit the weights again. In about four months, I had gone from 210 lbs. to 194 lbs before my weight loss began to stall again. The Low Carb and weight lifting was working, but I still could not break that new plateau! I, again set the weight loss aside and got back to life. Eventually, my weight went back up to 205 lbs. and my blood pressure went up right along with it.

Forward to July 2013, nearly three months ago. I now knew the advantages of Low Carbing a diet and exercise. It worked for me, but only up until a certain point. This time, I decided to cut calories instead of cutting out the Carbs. I downloaded an application on my phone called MyFitnessPal. This application calculated the amount of calories I could eat each day with the goal of losing one pound a week. I was also going to be exercising, so that would allow me to lose weight at a faster pace. The application allows you to add your exercise to it which then calculates the calories you burn and adds those same calories back on to your daily allowable intake. I chose not to log my exercise, however, and have decided to stick to the same calorie intake every day and let the exercise stand on its own. Today, October 21st, I now weigh 190.6 lbs. after starting at 205 lbs, two weeks in to the month of July. I am still weight lifting, so I am adding lean muscle to my weight. I have a goal of reaching at least, 175 lbs. So far, so good!

So, why blog about such a topic on a stand up comedy blog? Well, because I had no comedy related material to write about, that’s why. But maybe I can help someone else with weight loss? Who Knows? Here is a list of things to consider when deciding to change your health for the better:

  1. Don’t go out and buy a weight scale. Get yourself a measuring tape and measure yourself from the fattest part of your belly. Do this every two weeks to measure your progress. If you are weightlifting, you’ll add muscle to your frame which adds weight, however, you will also be burning fat, which you can gauge by measuring your belly.
  2. When you start out, weigh yourself at Wal-mart. They have a really cool, new machine there. Get your starting weight, then come back every two to three weeks or so, and get weighed again. Keeping a scale at home may cause you to weigh yourself too often, which may discourage you when you are not seeing the scale numbers decrease. Don’t let the scale deceive you.
  3. If you wish to go the Low Carb route, try to do this for about two weeks to a month, but no longer than that. You can Low Carb a diet til the cows come home, but if you’re still eating more calories than you should be, you will reach a plateau you will find extremely difficult to break.
  4. Count your calories per day. MyFitnessPal is a great app. that will do the calculations for you. First, it calculates the amount of calories you can take each day without gaining or losing a pound, then it will calculate the amount of calories you need to cut back on to lose your desired pounds per week. I would suggest losing a pound or two per week, but no more than that. It sucks when you don’t allow enough calories in your diet to eat comfortably throughout the day.
  5. Exercise! Does this really need to be said? There’s no need to P90X it or go as far as INSANITY! That stuff can work against you! Hit the weights, Zumba, Pilates, or anything else your feel comfortable with. Twenty to thirty minutes, every other day is all it takes! Try resting no more than two days straight though. Don’t let your body trick itself in thinking that you won’t stick with it.
  6. YouTube your exercise routines and health advice. There is so much great information out there and some of it is actually entertaining! You will find a few favorites in no time! I like getting advice from channels such as MuscleTwins, BuffDudes and SixPackShortCuts. It’s amazing how much information they offer for free!
  7. Stick with it. This works for me; I tell myself, “Eat right. You haven’t been working out as hard as you do to mess things up with eating junk. Don’t skip your workouts. You haven’t been eating right to mess things up by not working out.” The mental edge is soooo important! If you can’t tame your mind, your body will always lose control.

I appreciate you reading this far. If you have questions or comments, feel free to fire away! Good luck to you!


Published by Omar Tarango

I am a father, company manager, and a stand up comic. Being a stand up comic is the least funniest of the three.

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